Monday, June 14, 2010

One True Thing

I am drawn to two of Anna Quindlen’s novels – One True Thing and Black and Blue – both were made into movies and are, in my biased opinion, two of her best pieces of work. Ms. Quindlen is not a white-washer, she writes from a woman’s perspective and writes about real life. 99% of the time life is good, but sometimes that other 1% isn’t pretty.

Showing the process from the patient, caregiver, and the family unit perspectives, this movie is about terminal illness and it is the best movie I have seen on the subject. This one will make you cry – I guarantee.

Quotes

Kate Gulden: It's so much easier to be happy. It's so much easier to choose to love the things that you have, instead of always yearning for what you're missing, or what it is that you're imagining you're missing. It is so much more peaceful.

Plot Summary

This movie is told from the perspective of Ellen Guiden (Rene Zellweger) who is a creative successful writer and career woman in New York for a prestigious magazine. It is a high pressured job and you get the idea Ellen is very good at what she does and loves the “juice” from it. She has a boyfriend and together you see them as the “stereotypical 1990s New Yorkers, career driven rather than couple driven.”

When Ellen reluctantly makes the trip back home for another of her mother’s “theme” parties – this time a surprise party for Ellen’s father, you meet the rest of the Guiden family. Ellen’s mother, Kate Guiden (Meryl Streep) is a vivacious and creative stay-at-home mom, who is outgoing and in love with life. Ellen’s father, George Guiden (William Hurt) is a college professor and a writer with writer’s block and is as much an introvert, complex, and intellectual as his wife is outgoing, loving, and creative.

Ellen loves her father – idealizing him so much that she followed him into his writing profession – and actually we see that she is more successful at it then he is though he is always giving her advice about it. Ellen’s relationship with her mother is more strained, you get the idea from the start that she is embarrassed by her domestic goddess mother’s “larger than life creative personality” and the fact that she choose to be a stay at home mom rather then enter the work force – the daughter sees it ‘as a wasted life.” Ellen’s brother Brian Guiden (Tom Evert Scott) is introduced briefly – the “on the run to meet his friends type” of character – present, but not present and the actor does a wonderful job in the limited screen time he is given, but his character does not play as major a role in this film as the other Guidens.

Life goes along smoothly for this upper middle class family and unlike the characters, the viewers realizes early on that this family runs like a well-oiled machine because “mom” is at the helm of this family – though none of them realize her true contributions to the family and her true worth….until the underappreciated Kate gets diagnosed with a terminal illness. Life for the Guiden family is about to change.

Ellen’s father George pressures his daughter to take a leave of absence from her job. The truth is Ellen does not really want to as she knows it could jeopardize her career and the relationship she has with her boyfriend, but her father finally manages to guilt her into it. Grumbling all the way, Ellen moves back home to “help her father” with her mother and learns what the term help really means. During her mother’s illness, Ellen takes care of her mom as her slightly self-absorbed father continues his old role, going about his business as usual, without helping as he has promised he would, and his daughter realizes through a series of events (some in flashback) that he is not the God she thought him to be, but still a good man none the less.

It is interesting thing for a child – when they grow up and truly look at their parents through adult eyes and see them for the people they REALLY are – not the people they have always thought them to be. This experience teaches Ellen a great deal about herself and about both of her parents. Through a series of events she learns who has the strength, creativity, and wisdom in the Guiden family.

Life Lessons

Terminal illness is a thief. It robs you of someone you love before you are ever ready to let them go. What it does to your heart is a crime – splintering it into a million pieces only to leave you, knees on the floor, trying to figure out how to make everything in your world right again.

Terminal illness is also a teacher. It teaches you about death, sacrifice, love, hope, grief, honor, dignity, but mostly it teaches you about the value of living your life with joy each and every single day you can.

When my son went off to college, I “secretly” tucked a note in his things. This is not an original note – authored by me, but a piece of wisdom I am passing down the path.

“Happiness is the way – a choice you can make every single day. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with…and remember that time waits for no one.

So stop waiting…until
Until your car or home is paid off
Until you get a new car or home
Until your kids are in college
Until you go back to school
Until you lose 10 pounds
Until you gain 10 pounds
Until you get married
Until you have kids
Until you retire
Until summer, spring, winter, or fall
Until…Until…Until

There is no better time than right now to be happy.

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

So work like you don’t need money,
Love like you’ve never been hurt,
And, dance like no one’s watching.”

One True Thing Movie Cast

· Meryl Streep as Kate Guiden
· Renee Zellweger as Ellen Guiden
· William Hurt as George Guiden
· Tom Everett Scott as Brian Guiden
· Lauren Graham as Jules
· Nicky Katt as Jordan Belzer
· And others