Thursday, May 20, 2010

Brothers (2009)

War makes good men have to do bad things and expects them to forget all that and come home the same person.

This is one of those movies I probably would not have seen except my son recommended it and brought it over to the house on a Friday night to watch with his dad and me. Wow! This is not going to be everyone’s cup of tea because some of it is REALLY hard to watch. There is violence and I do not recommend it for kids under the age of 12. Having said that, it is one of the best movies about the relationship between brothers I have seen in a long time.

It’s a movie about love, loyalty, and living with the choices you make.

Quotes

(Sam talking to his wife Grace about picking his younger brother Tommy up from prison)
Sam Cahill: I have to go. He's my brother.
Grace Cahill: He doesn't deserve you.

(Sam screaming at his wife Grace)
Sam Cahill: You know what I did to get back to you? You know what I did?

Tommy Cahill: Stop! Wait! He's my brother!

Plot Summary

This is a story about two brothers – older brother Sam Cahill (Tobey Maguire) – a good “salt-of-the earth” steadfast family man and soldier – the good big brother and younger brother Tommy Cahill (Jake Gyllenhaal) – the family black sheep who never seems to be able to do anything right; especially where his father is concerned – he is the bad younger brother.

Sam, who is about to leave for another tour of duty in the Middle East, picks up his brother Tommy at prison/jail after the latter has served his sentence for armed robbery and brings him back into the family fold. Sam’s wife Grace (Natalie Portman), who has never been fond of Tommy, does not understand why Sam “is always there” for his “never do good” younger brother. Sam states simply, “He’s my brother.” Tommy asks Sam the same question on their ride home after they leave the prison/jail. Sam repeats, “You’re my brother.”

Grace and Sam host a family dinner with their two young daughters – Isabelle (Bailee Madison) and Maggie (Taylor Grace Geare), Tommy, and Sam’s parents - Hank Cahill (Sam Shepard) and Elise Cahill (Mare Winningham) in attendance. It is obvious that Hank Cahill, a soldier himself and Vietnam Vet, favors his son Sam over Tommy; setting the older brother up as an example to his younger brother of what a “man” should be. Viewers also get the idea that Hank has been doing this most of Tommy’s life and that maybe this is one of the reasons for Tommy’s bad behavior. It is also revealed (briefly) that when the boys were growing up and Hank came home from Vietnam, he became an alcoholic, but eventually dealt with it and lives an alcohol-free life now.

Sam is deployed to the Middle East where he is involved in a crash and is presumed dead. The truth is he and Private Joe Willis (Patrick Flueger), a hometown friend, survive the ordeal, only to be taken prisoner. Thinking his brother is dead, Tommy steps up to the plate to help his sister-in-law and his nieces. Wanting to make amends for his past behavior, he gathers up some of his old friends and remodels Grace’s kitchen for her. Grace slowly comes to see Tommy as her husband Sam did and her attitude towards him softens. Back in the Middle East Sam and Joe are abused and tortured by terrorists and even though Sam encourages Joe to stay strong, Joe cracks.

I think I will stop there because I don’t want to reveal too much. I will share Sam makes it back home to his family.

Life Lessons

As children, one of Betty’s rules was that we – as siblings – were to take care of each other. We could fight all we wanted (and we did) among ourselves, but if someone from the outside stepped in and stepped on your sibling; you were to step up to the plate and stand by them…right or wrong – your loyalty was with them.

As an adult child of my mother, if you want to get on her fighting side, just say something about your sibling and our mother will immediately take on the cause of the child being attacked. It is another one of Betty's rules -- she is allowed to call us stinkweeds (and we can be), but none of us are allowed to call each other that in front of her.

I have a friend who was walking down the hallway of her home and stopped short because she overheard a conversation taking place in her home that she would have been better off never hearing. She was hurt and sad because it took place at a stressful time in her life when she needed her support system to be firmly in place. She went to her mother, who told her, “you must forgive them, family forgives family their trespasses.” This revelation came from one of the greatest grudge holders in the universe – my friend’s father used to say “Your mother can remember someone who did her wrong back in 1942 and quote you the time it happened down to the second,” but my friend realized her mother was right, even if she didn’t always practice it herself, family forgives family their trespasses.

It is hard to be the kind of person who can do that, be forgiving when someone has hurt you; especially someone you never thought would do that to you. Then you have to remember – only “the big guy” is perfect. People are human, they make mistakes and if the shoe was on the other foot you’d want them to forgive you and give you another chance without holding your imperfections over your head for all eternity.

Remember they are your sister or brother and family forgives family their trespasses….even when, occasionally, they are stinkweeds. There are those other times – they stand right beside you with their hand on your shoulder and you know you are not alone and the world knows…really knows, that they have the "Cartwrights" to deal with. "Cartwrights?" Watch Bonanza on cable and you'll understand what the reference means.

About family by blood or choice…

“Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.” Dinah Craik


Brothers Movie Cast
• Tobey Maguire as Capt. Sam Cahill
• Jake Gyllenhaal as Tommy Cahill
• Natalie Portman as Grace Cahill
• Mare Winningham as Elsie Cahill
• Sam Shepard as Hank Cahill
• Clifton Collins, Jr. as Maj. Cavazos
• Bailee Madison as Isabelle Cahill
• Taylor Geare as Maggie Cahill
• Patrick Flueger as Pvt. Joe Willis
• Carey Mulligan as Cassie Willis
• Jenny Wade as Tina
• Omid Abtahi as Yusuf
• Ethan Suplee as Sweeney
• Ray Prewitt as Owen

Friday, May 7, 2010

Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood

Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood is about relationships…those between mothers and daughters, girlfriends – the kind you keep your entire life, and those souls, by blood, love, or choice, you call family.

It’s about imperfection, diva-ism, holding your judgment about someone until you know the whole story about them, crazy-making, letting go of old tapes from your childhood that no longer work for you in adulthood, forgiveness, and it is about love – the unconditional kind.

Mainly though…it’s about the relationship between mothers and daughters.

Quotes

Younger Vivi: (Throws dinner on the floor in anger) You can starve for all I care! (And then leaves)
Little Sidda Walker: I'll make dinner, Daddy. Okay?
Younger Shep Walker: Thank you. I'll get the skillet. Don't touch it; it's hot.


Sidda: (about Vivi) I am sick of fighting! And, I am sick to death of this whole center of the universe, holier than thou, nothing is ever enough. Oh, how I've suffered, nobody understands me. Somebody fix me a drink and hand me a Nebutol, worn out Scarlett O'Hara... thang!
Caro: (one of Vivi’s childhood friends) Well, she's got her pegged, all right.


Sidda: Daddy, did you get loved enough?
Shepard James 'Shep' Walker: What's enough? My question is, did you?


Vivi: (to her friend) Teensy! I demand that you move this piece of shit outta my way, this very instant!
Teensy: (takes off her sunglasses and glares directly at Vivi) Who do you think you're talking to?
Vivi: I know she's there. (meaning Sidda) Now, what is going on? Is betrayal absolutely everywhere?
Teensy: (sarcastically) Yes. Your lifelong friends are programming your daughter to destroy you!
Vivi: Well, somebody better tell me what's going on!
Teensy: Vivi, calm down! You're just gonna have to trust us. If you go there now, you're gonna ruin EVERYBODY'S life!
Vivi: What IS it with me "ruinin' everybody's life"? EVERYBODY, Teensy? Strangers are saying it now!
Teensy: What strangers?
Vivi: Connor. He yelled at me! She's walked out on their entire life, whatever that means.
Teensy: Go! Go home right now!
Vivi: Don't you talk to me like that. I'll knock you in the middle of next week!
Teensy: Then I will kick your sorry ass on Thursday. Now get in the goddamn car and go home!
(Vivi huffs at Teensy, then climbs into her car, slams the door, and leaves)


Necie Rose Kelleher: I wish you could've known your momma back then, you would've loved her.
Sidda: Necie, me not loving momma was never the problem.
Caro: Her not loving you was never the problem either.

Plot Summary

Sidda (Siddalee) Walker (Sandra Bullock) has created a successful life for herself far away from her southern family. She has a play; a wonderful fiancé named Connor McGill (Angus Mcfadyen), and maintains a tension-filled relationship with her mother. Connor wants to marry her, but memories of her parents' unhappy marriage makes Sidda gun-shy about going through with the actual wedding.

Then there is an interview for a national magazine, where the interviewer distorts the information Sidda shared about challenging childhood – her mother Vivi Walker (Ellen Burstyn) reads it and war breaks out between mother and daughter – each trying to prove the other is the “crazy-making one.” Sidda’s father Shep Walker (James Garner) just does the best he can to alternately soothe and stay out of the war between these two women he loves.

Vivi’s three childhood friends, the Ya-Yas, intervene, trying to create peace between mother and daughter. Using Vivi's scrapbook, Sidda learns the truth – “about the ups and downs, triumphs and tragedies” that has shaped her mother into the complex woman she is today. Vivi learns some valuable lessons as well.

It is that To Kill a Mockingbird – Atticus Finch quote all over again –

“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view…until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.”

Life Lessons

Ladies….

You start off in diapers, but time passes very quickly and before you know it you will be celebrating your fiftieth birthday. One day, a short time later, you’re going to catch your reflection in a mirror and do a double-take because you’ll realize, your mother, your grandmother, or your Aunt Jo’s face is looking back at you.

Gentlemen…

The same goes for you.

It’s startling, freaky, and kind of cool all at the same time.


Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood Movie Cast

Sandra Bullock as Siddalee ‘Sidda’ Walker
Ellen Burstyn as Vivianne Joan ‘Vivi’ Abbott Walker
Fionnula Flanagan as ’Teensy’ Melissa Whiteman
James Garner as Shepard James ‘Shep’ Walker
Cherry Jones as Grandma ‘Buggy’ Abbott
Ashley Judd as Younger Vivi Abbott Walker
Shirley Knight as Necie Rose Kelleher
Angus Mcfadyen as Connor McGill
Maggie Smith as Caro Eliza Bennett
David Rasche as Taylor Abbott
And Others